What's your Child's Love Language? By Mariel Uyquiengco

I've always believed in knowing your spouse/partner's love language in order to express your love to him/her properly. And now when I found this article, I just help but share it here because it would help a lot for us parents to know how do we express our love for them. ♥

What's your Child's Love Language? By Mariel Uyquiengco

It’s so easy to fall in love with a child who always comes up to you to ask for a hug and often says “I love you, mommy.” But there are also kids who struggle to show affection or even respond to love shown to them. These are the kids who do not hug you back or even briskly remove your arms when you try to give them a bear hug. Dr. Gary Chapman, in his series of best-selling books about the five languages of love, says that every person has different ways of receiving and expressing love. It is important to be familiar with the love languages for kids in order to effectively connect with your children.

According to Dr. Chapman, the five love language for kids are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. Using this framework, parents can observe their children and find out which language they use in expressing love and which language they respond to the most when receiving affection.

To start discovering your child’s love language, here are some ideas on how you can express your love based on Dr. Chapman’s work. Observe and note how your child will respond to you!

Physical Touch

For kids whose love language is physical touch, cuddling, patting, hugging, holding hands, running your fingers through their hair, or just laying your hands on their shoulders are perfect. They will feel so loved with all these touching activities. So give your child a hug and a kiss before he gets off the car when you bring him to school and welcome him home with the same. Run your fingers through her hair when you’re doing something together like watching TV or sitting quietly side by side. Cuddling as you read in bed together would be like heaven!

Words of Affirmation

Words have the power to make or break another person’s self-esteem. Kids who respond to words of affirmation need to hear loving words more often than those with another love language. It’s the honey that sweetens their life. Give honest compliments or describe something that they did that made you happy.“I’m glad you controlled yourself and kept yourself from shouting. I knew you wanted to shout.”Be careful too, of how you speak, as they tend to be more sensitive to one’s tone of voice.

Quality Time

A child whose love language is quality time can either delight in conversation or in doing something together. The important thing to remember here is that quality time means being totally present when you’re with him. How do you show your love? The easiest thing would be to put away your gadgets, establish eye contact, and truly engage with your child during your time together. Make time for regular special time together to give him something to look forward to each week. Play basketball, bike together, or maybe even jog together if quality for your son means doing something together. For most girls, quality time is almost always about having conversation. Make your child part of the process of choosing what to do too and do it together!


Everybody like gifts especially kids. It’s easy to make them happy when you have the budget to buy something that they like. But gifts do not necessarily have to be expensive. It can be something as simple as getting your child a book to complete her collection, or maybe a cute spatula if she likes to bake. Gifts persons love to give gifts too, so make sure to show your appreciation the next time your child offers you an art work or a homemade card.

Acts of Service

Kids who have Acts of Service as a love language appreciate it when others do things for them, especially those which they dislike doing. Yes, you need to teach them how to make their own bed, but occasionally doing it for them while telling them you love them is a message of love that they will hear. If your child goes to school, make sure to send with him some lunch you have lovingly made, with a little note tucked in.

Discovering and learning how to speak your child’s love language will help you establish a connected relationship with each other. You will be able to express your love for him in ways that he will understand and never doubt. Learn about the love languages for kids and watch your relationship with each other beautifully bloom.


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