Random Thoughts

I have been working from home for almost two years now. Three more months to go and I will be celebrating the two years of working at home and trying hard to be a good Mom at the same time.

I remember two years ago, I had trouble deciding whether to quit the job that was stressful but I've been doing for 7 years already. I loved that job being able to express my thoughts, being able to talk to colleagues, share my insights and being able to take good care of my career. But when I tried to pray and ask God to give me some job that I will be able to take care of Alex (who was 3 months old then) at the same time, He immediately opened a door from this company that is based from another country.

I never thought I'd get in after several interviews and exchange of emails. I would say that the job was really for me. An answered prayer, which I never thought I would pray for, all my life. You see, I've always pictured myself as a career woman, going up the corporate ladder. I've never even considered having a business of my own. I would always dream of that corner office on top of the floor with an amazing view. :) But of course this would entail working until the wee hours of the day. But I told myself, who cares, it is for my own career anyway.

And then I got pregnant. And everything just changed 360 degrees. My former boss would even laughed at me saying, I knew you would change your mind after you give birth! And he was right! I just can't help it. I felt so attached to Alex that I wouldn't want to stay up late in the office (which can't be avoided if you are in the IT world) and of course I don't want to neglect my wifey duties to Hubby.

So that made me decide to give up a job in a multi-national company and go for a job at home where I can witness the milestones of my baby. And not only see her grow but be with her while I'm trying to help Hubby make ends meet.

But I tell you, it's not easy, I can even say that it's hard. There are days that I get so bored that I would want to go back to what I used to be doing in the corporate world. There are days that I would want to give up. You see, it's hard to balance a life of an employee and my life as a Mom. As much as I want to spend the whole day with Alex, I can't because I need to work. So sometimes I would just hear her laugh at the other room, playing with her Yaya. Sometimes I would even think, is my working from home really helped Alex's life? I can't do so many things like a Stay At Home Mom can do with her kids. As much as I want to play with her, do crafts with her like drawing, creating silk flowers, sing and dance anytime of the day, I can't.

But looking at the bright side, at least during my break time, I could read stories for her and teach her A-B-C. I could put her to sleep and then I will go back to work. And since I'm at home already, I don't have to travel from the office. And the most fun part is that I get to be home first before Hubby!

So now I'm thankful. And always will be for my current setup. Yes it's hard but I know I'm blessed to be able to spend some parts of the day with Alex and at the same time let her feel that I'm just at the other room just in case she needs me.